Kisses and Beatings
Disclaimer: We don’t own any of the characters, though we really wish we
did because then Buffy and Angel could be together for real! Unfortunately,
they belong to Joss, who is VERY mean to them and doesn’t deserve them.
Couple: B/A of course!
Spoilers: Mild Season 4
Rating: PG-14 (There’s one use of the f word)
Authors’ Notes: We just wanted to tell you guys that crack is good for your
brain. It makes you write happy stuff, like this. But not acid! Acid is
bad. It’s what Joss uses, so if any of you guys start to do acid, well,
we’ll just have to kill you now, won’t we?
Dedication: This is for all the B/A-ers out there. Stay strong, we’ll
spork Joss for all of this one day, don’t worry!
Buffy was standing by the refreshment table, swaying to the music quietly
while she waited for Angel.
“Oh, Buffy's so hot. I need to find a way to get her to notice me,” Riley
said to himself.
Buffy sighed. Why was Angel late? Deciding that she wasn't going to brood
the whole night - that was his job, after all - she picked out a cracker and
placed a small slice of cheese on it. She'd forgotten to eat earlier and it
looked pretty good.
“Oh! She likes cheese! I have the perfect line!!!” Riley continued.
Buffy bit into it delicately then frowned. She'd forgotten how much she
disliked cheddar. She grabbed a napkin and slipped the cheese into it
inconspicuously. She glanced around to make sure no one had seen her, she
didn't want to look stupid. She suppressed a sigh when she realized that
Riley was watching her. Again.
Riley walked over to where Buffy was standing. He looked her up and down.
“Hey, Buffy. So you like cheese? I love cheese! All that milk and
curd…Yum!
Buffy frowned, but managed to keep herself from making the disgusted face
she longed to.
"Actually - " She began, but Riley cut her off with more babbling.
"And cheese is made from cows milk. I own cows. Did you know that? Cows
are cool. But I never push mine over. That's mean-" he was interrupted by
Buffy.
"Stop," she begged. "You told me all about Bessie and all the rest of your
herd last time, remember?" She sighed at the boring memory. She shook her
head and smiled at him sadly. "I really don't need to hear anymore."
"But... but... I like cheese... and cows... and you... I – I like you,
Buffy."
"I don't," Buffy laughed. "Is that all you think about it?"
"Well, yeah. I rehearse everything I say to you."
"Just what every girl longs to hear," she remarked sarcastically. She beat
herself mentally when she realized that he probably wouldn't realize that
she was using sarcasm.
"But I love you!" He shouted. He was suddenly grabbed by the shoulder by a
tall, dark and handsome man.
"The only one that loves my Buffy is me."
Buffy smiled broadly. "Riley," she chirped. "Meet Angel."
"Uh, uh, uh, uh… hi... oops... I had an accident." He looked down at his
pants and saw a wet spot.
Buffy covered her forehead and eyes with her right hand and shook her head
in disbelief.
"You had an *accident?!" She echoed.
“It wasn't my fault! He scares me!!!" he started to whimper like a child.
"Good!" Buffy shot back. She locked eyes with Angel. "Get rid of him for
me. Please? You know that most things don't scare me, but I'm afraid of
him! He keeps talking about cows and - and farms and I can't take it any
more!!"
Angel picked Riley up by the lapels of his shirt. Riley started screaming
like a woman. "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!!! Please! Don't hurt me!"
"God, you're a fucking weenie. You would never deserve Buffy. What a
moron." Angel threw Riley out of the party and returned to Buffy.
Buffy smiled brightly when Angel returned. "Thank you," she breathed.
"Anything for you, my darling. So why don't we party now that we got that
loser out of the way?"
Buffy grinned. "Sure," she agreed. "Dance with me?"
"Always." He led her out to the dance floor.
Buffy let Angel lead her. Just the small contact with his hand had her
feeling like she was floating. Angel put his arms around Buffy's waist and
held her close. He concentrated on the blonde in his arms and the words of
the song that was playing. Buffy locked her arms around Angel's neck and
pressed herself up against him. She felt so safe in his arms...so loved.
"I love you," she whispered.
"And I love you, my darling wife."
Angel smiled, content. They swayed together until the song ended. Angel
led Buffy over to a sofa in a corner where they could be alone. Buffy
crawled into his lap and curled up against him. She sighed happily. Angel
stroked her hair. He tilted her chin up so that his lips could meet hers.
Buffy moved her head forward slightly to catch his lips in a sweet kiss.
The kiss lasted for what seemed like hours, but in reality it was only
minutes. They broke away and stared at each other.
Parker ran his eyes over Buffy appreciatively. She was definitely easy.
After all, he'd never seen her with that guy before, but he just showed up
and she was all over him!
Angel was again running his hands through Buffy's hair when an annoying
voice asked, "Hey man, can I borrow her? I want a piece of that!"
Angel's eyes shot over to the annoying boy. "Excuse me? What did you just
say?"
"Come on," Parker said smugly. "It's only fair if you share...a girl with a
body like that shouldn't be hogged."
Buffy simply sat, stunned, in Angel's arms, her lips still wet from his
kisses. What the hell was going on? Why would this guy say these things
about her?
"That is my wife you are talking about!" Angel exclaimed as he took a
threatening step towards Parker.
Buffy fell neatly onto the empty space beside where they had been sitting
earlier as Angel stood up. She watched the exchange in fascination.
Parker made a face. "Excuse me? Wife?"
"You heard me. She is my wife. And she will be hogged. She is mine and no
body else’s."
Buffy grinned. She loved this side of her Angel.
Parker rolled his eye. "Whatever," he drawled. He eyed Buffy again. "Come
on, Hon, why are you tying yourself down to this loser?"
Buffy glared at the guy, then smiled. "Because the sex is great," she
taunted. She cocked her head to the side. "That and then there's the small
matters of him being my soul mate, my loving him, and, oh yeah, he's not a
loser. Unlike *some* people I could mention..."
Angel smiled down at Buffy and then turned his attention to Parker. "You
asshole. You better leave here now before I do something that I'm sure that
I'll regret. No, wait, stick around, I'd love to do some of those things."
Parker snorted. "You think you could take me?" He challenged hotly.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "*I* could take you," she announced. "Even without
my slayer strength," she added under her breath.
Angel put Parker in a deadly headlock. He tightened his hold when Parker
started to squirm. "Now listen to me. Don't you ever say anything about my
wife again or you'll be sorry that you were even born. Got it?"
Parker struggled but couldn't break his grip. "Got...it..." He choked out.
Angel let Parker go with a push. He watched as Parker ran away and turned
his attention to Buffy. "Ready to go home?"
"Yeah," she told him. She stood up and ran her fingers down his chest
tantalizingly. "I think we both know that there are so much more...funner
things to do at home." She finished in a whisper.
Angel took a tight hold onto her waist and led her out the door. He
whispered in her ear, "I got some new chains."
A big grin settled itself over her face. "Let's go then!" She cried. She
lowered her voice. "Remember, it's my turn."
"So does this mean I wear the leather tonight?" He asked with a smile.
"You better believe it," she responded excitedly.
As they walked through the door, she slapped his ass. When he looked at her
questioningly, she shrugged. "I'm not very patient."
THE END!