by Sandee
RATING: PG-13 for the first 2 parts; NC-17 for the 3rd part
SUMMARY: Angel/Buffy - Buffy is four months pregnant and doesn't know what to do.
SPOILERS: Up through "Pangs" and "I Will Remember You."
DISCLAIMER: These characters are owned by Joss Whedon, WB and Mutant Enemy Productions. I'm only borrowing them and planned to return a bit happier, but unharmed. Please don't sue. I have less than nothing. In fact, I still
owe on my student loans! Actually, I'm behind in my student loans. If they could Citibank would repossess my education.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Please send feedback. I would greatly appreciate it and
live for it. It is the reason I write.
DEDICATION: Thanks to my betas and friends who are there for me. Also thanks to Isa who begged and begged for this part and then begged some more.
* Denotes inner thoughts.
Sometimes life is like a dream, others it is a nightmare. Some people’s nightmares are other’s dreams. People wandering in and out of your life much like a stage play. One act blending into another. Characters blowing like leaves across an empty field. Your life can be hazy, foggy, or indiscernible some days, weeks or even years and razor sharp clarity and awareness other times. Anger, hurt and emptiness….Joy, happiness and fulfillment, all consuming emotions everyone feels if they want to or not. How we deal with these people, trials and emotions are our defining moments.
Raw indigo blackness enveloped the tiny room. A small figure sat in the corner, knees to her chest. Her mind replayed the events of her life over and over, never being able to focus. Scattered thoughts of regret, triumphant and doubt skidded across. Her mind wandered across warm, orange California Poppy fields and dank gray cemeteries full of decay. One question kept repeating in her rambling brain, * How?*
*How?*
How many times has this very question, word plagued her thoughts? She lost count. Despair had started to sink in and it was barely palatable. She knew she was sinking quickly, but wasn’t sure how to pull herself out and become strong again. Her mind racked the possibilities of a world without that tiny, yet most complex word.
Struggling to stand, long past exhaustion she padded over to the long shimmering full-length mirror. Clad in a white T-shirt with tiny purple butterflies floating across the soft, cotton material, and baggy well-worn jean overalls. Buffy stretched the material tight across her abdomen making the slight swell growing there protrude.
*How?*
*How can I be 4 months pregnant?* Her mind screamed at her. *How am I going to explain when I have no clue how this happened?*
She needed help and wasn’t sure where to turn. The fog had settled in her brain and it needed to be cleared. Grabbing her keys off the desk, Buffy left the inky darkness of the room only to emerge into the damp, midnight air. She needed to drive, listen to music, and get herself together. Buffy almost sprinted to the rounded teal green, Mercury Tracer; she received for her birthday last month.
Fumbling with the jangling keys, Buffy opened the driver’s side door of the car and slipped behind the wheel. Buffy took a deep breath to steady her. She was still a bit uncertain about driving, but was certain she needed to escape. The car started with no trouble and she began to slowly back out of the tight parking stall. Buffy leaning to look over her shoulder and glanced in the backseat. Her mind flashing that soon a car-seat would be filling that space. A small smile finally slipped across her lips with that revelation. There was no doubt that she wanted the baby, but there was doubt about how she got pregnant. She knew it wasn’t stinky Parker-man’s and could only come to the conclusion it had to happen when she had been drunk on that ‘bad beer’ and couldn’t remember who the father was.
*How?*
*How would she explain to her child she couldn’t remember who the father was? Stop it, Buffy.* She reprimanded. Taking a deep breath, Buffy pulled out on to Highway 1, hoping the ocean view would help make her more calm and collected.
The shiny car sailed along the winding path edging cliffs and valleys. Moonlight reflected the crashing waves, settling on the white sandy beach that edged, parallel the highway. Buffy was going on instinct alone. She zoned out and twirled a golden lock of hair between two perfectly painted, blue fingernails. Driving for hours Buffy finally came to a stop, put the car in park, and turned off the car. She phased back in to see where she was.
A tall tan building with dark brown trim sat in her path. Buffy knew it instantly, her heart had taken her to the one place her mind screamed against. A sign hanging above the etched glass doors read; ‘Angel Investigations.’ She hadn’t been here since last November when she told Angel clearly he was to stay out of her life. It was too hard for her to deal with. Buffy hung her head, resting it against the steering wheel. Heavy tears trickled down her soft cheeks, wracking the small body with deep sobs.
Angel couldn’t believe his eyes when he noticed the Tracer parked in front of his building. He had never seen the car before, but it wasn’t what he saw. It was what he felt. His body tingled and his hair prickled on end. It felt like an electric current ran throughout his body. He could sense it. It was Buffy, but why would she be here? There had to be something wrong. Angel jogged down the sidewalk towards the car, slowing as he approached it, so he wouldn’t startle Buffy.
A gentle tapping against the driver’s side window startled Buffy, She looked up to see what was making the noise. There he was. She hadn’t seen him for months. The man her heart ached for incessantly. Dressed in his usual flowing black silk shirt, tight black ass-framing jeans, black rugged boots that crossed fashion and durability and the same beautifully spiked chocolate brown hair and shimmering golden tips. Angel stood with a slight stoop to peer into the window, deep concern washed over his handsome face.
“Buffy…What’s the matter?” he whisper. Angel’s fathomless, dark brown eyes bore into her.
Buffy’s heart stopped immediately as her mind raced trying to decide whether to flee or stay. Her heart ached for the comfort she knew he once provided for her, but could no longer obtain thanks to Angel’s harsh decision. She looked at him through hazy tear-filled eyes and meekly breathed, “Angel?”
“Is something wrong?” Angel’s panic rose the more his eyes drank in the picture before him. She didn’t seem right. He could feel something was wrong with her. There was something different he could sense. “Baby…roll down the window,” he gently commanded and Buffy complied. Angel squatted to become level with Buffy, reaching in to stroke the damp tear-stained cheeks. Buffy nuzzled instinctually into his cool touch. “Come on in….Let’s talk. You look like you could use it.”
Buffy nodded and Angel back away from the smooth metal door. She flipped the switch rolling the window up, then stepped out of the car. Pressing a button on her key ring the doors locked and the alarm was set. Angel held out his large palm to grasp her tiny one. They walked hand-in-hand to the etched glass and heavy wooden doors. Angel ever the gentleman, held the door open for her as she stepped inside the dark office. Hands still locked together, Angel urged Buffy to follow along to the ancient elevator down to his apartment.
“Angel, where are we going,” Buffy finally questioned.
“My apartment is just below the office. I figured it would be quiet there and you could relax better on the couch. I could also make you some tea to calm your nerves.”
“Oh, OK. That kinda sounds nice. Do you still have that herbal lemony one? It’s non-caffeinated right?” she asked hopefully, remembering that caffeine was bad for the baby. No more all night Mt. Dew binges for a while with the gang she thought.
“Yeah, I have it. I think it is, why?”
“Oh…um…I just don’t want to be up all night,” she covered. The creaking elevator touched ground with an abrupt jolt and Buffy stepped out, surveying the new surroundings. “Wow, you’ve always had great taste. Sometimes it makes me wonder about you,” Buffy giggled sadly.
“You know better than that,” he chuckled with a smirk and left to make the tea, leaving Buffy to explore. Slowly Buffy wandered the apartment, brushing fingers cautiously again the hanging honed, steel weapons. She finally settled on the thick brown wooden couch with a brown toned check patterned cushions. Settling with a sigh, Buffy leaned against the back waiting for Angel to enter with her tea.
Angel reached up on the wire rack that held the shining sliver kettle that reflected everything but him. He worked quickly making Buffy some tea, eager to be able to talk to Buffy and find out what has her so upset. Angel set the kettle on the burner and peek over at Buffy. She seemed different; he couldn’t quite figure it out. She was looking off in the distance lost in thought. He it had to be something big for her to get this spooked. The high shriek whistle of the angry kettle made Angel slightly jump, but didn’t phase Buffy. She was lost somewhere else.
* I can’t tell him the truth,* she thought, *He wouldn’t take it well. He’d realize what a slut I have become. I just know it. I could no longer face him if he knew. I can’t have him think that.* Buffy looked up suddenly jarred from her thoughts just as Angel approached, handing her a cup of fragrant lemon tea. Buffy inhaled the rich fumes, wafting from the blue stoneware mug. “Thanks,” she said giving a small smile and taking a cautious sip of the golden brown steaming liquid.
Angel sat across from Buffy on the coffee table his large knees almost touching her petite ones. He ached to touch her, brush them against her, but instead Angel left a comfort zone for Buffy. He watched her for a while as he just held his blue mug, his strong hands encompassing it, feeling the warmth of the liquid traveling through his long fingers. Finally he felt she had relaxed enough and started, “Buffy….Please, please tell me what’s the matter,” he begged. “You know you can tell me anything?”
Buffy pondered what Angel was saying. She knew that for the most part, it was true, but this was the one thing he could never understand. He could never look at her in the same loving way if he found out she casually slept with some guy whom she couldn’t remember and got pregnant. How stupid and foolish could one person be? Her life was a mess. He could never understand any of it and couldn’t bear to keep up all the lies with him. Buffy knew she had to go soon before she ruined everything.
“Angel….umm…I have to go. It’s late and it’s a long drive and umm..I really…I really should get going,” Buffy stammered, scooting to the edge of the couch.
“No Buffy, you should stay and talk. Obviously you needed to or you wouldn’t be here. Something drew you here.”
“No I have to get home. I just can’t talk about it, Angel.”
“Please Buffy you can have the bed; I’ll sleep on the couch. We can talk tomorrow morning when you feel better.”
*Oh yeah, that will be fun. You can talk while I’m barfing my guts up in the toilet. God I hate morning sickness,* sarcastically telling herself. “No I’m going now, do those stairs lead to your office?” Buffy moved to get up and leave.
“Yes, but wait,” Angel held out a hand motioning Buffy to stop and listen to him as he pleaded with her. “I have something I have to tell you….Since you aren’t in the mood to talk, I have something that I need to tell you. It just might make you feel better.”
“Fine, but you need to make it quick. I’m getting tired,” she said with mock exasperation.
Taking a few deep unneeded breaths to steady him, Angel fidgeted slightly and began. “You know Cordelia has been having vision right? Doyle left them as his legacy to her via the powers that be.”
“Yes I know that, so go on.”
“Well, I when found out about them I was curious and went to talk to the Oracles.”
“Why did you talk to Oreos?”
“No, Or...a...cles,” Angel chuckled, “they are the mouth pieces for the powers that be. They know the future and help give guidance. Usually in riddles, which can be very frustrating.”
Buffy gave a small embarrassed smile and looked down at the cooling liquid in her mug, “Oh.”
Angel watched her take another sip of the tea and went on, “I went to talk about Cordelia, but they seemed to focus on me instead. They told me some important things. Some things I was going to keep from you, but when you showed up I knew I couldn’t do that. I wasn’t meant to do that. I vowed to you that I would never lie to you again and I can’t kept this chance at happiness from you…from us.” Angel’s eyes lit up with possibilities while he spoke to her. She could feel this joy suddenly radiating from him.
Just the new light in Angel’s dark eyes made Buffy eager to find out what the news was. It was making her feel like she used to feel around him. She sat quietly waiting for more of the tale to unfold and nodded for him to go on.
“Buffy, they said that when Willow cursed me again,” he paused not sure how she’d take this, “she did the ritual differently...I no longer have the clause in the curse.”
The words hung before them like lead balloons. Everything stopped for a few moments. Buffy tried to digest what Angel had just said. He mind was muddled, having a hard time digesting the full weight of what he had just told her. All she could get out was a soft question, “What?”
Angel became worried at her response. “I said that I have no more ‘happiness clause’,” he restated and elaborated, “all those months of tension and heartache and carefulness were for nothing. We can be together.” In Angel’s excitement, he missed the pain and horror that etched Buffy’s face. “I want us to try and work things out. I want it to be just the two of us. The two of us for as long as possible.”
*Two of us?* Buffy’s mind reeled. *There will never bet just the two of us now…OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE!, * her mind screamed in panic. *I ruined it with one unremembered night of sex. Oh, God….How?…Why?* she mentally repeated as fat tears slid from underneath dark lashes.
“Buffy?…Are you, OK?” Angel asked uncertain when he saw her tears. He pulled a small box from his pocket and flipped it open causing Buffy to look at what he was doing. “I found this in the mansion when I came back from Hell, I’ve held onto it, hoping one day that I could give it back and you’d wear it again.” Pulling a small silver claddagh ring out of the box, Angel reached for Buffy’s left hand.
Everything was moving in a whirlwind around Buffy. It was too much for her to absorb. She felt Angel’s cool hand grasp hers, causing Buffy to focus finally on the very ring he had given to her for that fateful seventeenth birthday. The ring that symbolized his love for her and his loyalty, *I’ve been nothing close to loyal to him.* Buffy’s heart shattered as he placed the ring on her trembling finger, crown pointing inward, she looked into his tear-filled eyes. Angel offered everything she had always dreamed of and now it was her very nightmare.
Buffy took off running in a panic towards the narrow stairwell. She ran up four steps and abruptly stopped, doubling over, screaming in pain. She felt this intense muscle spasm in her stretching abdomen. Buffy panted heavily to ease the pain. She lost her balance, starting to fall backwards and tumble towards the bottom.
Horror ran through Angel’s body when he saw Buffy tilter off balance, “OH, GOD, BUFFY!” Angel yelled as he followed right behind her. His world became slow motion as he watcher her stumble and flail in the air. Rushing to her, Angel easily scooped his tiny Slayer in his strong arms, saving her from harm. He clutched her like she was a lifeline. He wasn’t about to let her go. She had just scared him to death, again.
Angel gently cradled his love in his arms walking to the wide mahogany hued, leather chair. He eased carefully down, placing Buffy on his lap. She curled into his expansive chest needing the comfort and contact with the man who consumed ever thought not occupied by the baby. “Buffy are you OK? What happened? How do you feel? Are you alright?” His questions came fast as his concerned eyes surveyed her looking for injury, but found none. A sturdy hand rubbed her thigh soothingly while Angel’s arm wrapped around her shoulders holding her tight.
“I’m fine, Angel. Thanks for catching me,” Buffy nuzzled closer into the safety she felt being near him. She desperately missed the secure feeling he gave to her. Only Angel had ever been able to make her feel like this when she was with him wrapped in his arms, the world could be at peace, and everything would work out. Buffy craved that security right now. Soft sighs of contentment escaped her lips, cuddling even further into him.
Angel was confused about her behavior, but he wasn’t about to let her move from his lap. He needed her to be close and knew she just needed time to let everything sink in. His palm continued to soothe her and she relaxed further. He rubbed the bulky jean material, wishing he could be feeling the rich silky skin below without the obstruction, but didn’t want to push her. His hand continued to creep on her thigh and then to her rounded hip. Angel missed being able to just sit and touch her, absorbing her warmth. He ached everyday to caress the only woman he will ever love and now he was getting that long sought after chance so he took it.
Buffy was drained, her mind muddled and for the time being was content to just sit there and enjoy the attention Angel poured on. Her head was tucked under his chin protectively, when his hand finally brushed across her abdomen. She knew he felt it. *How could he miss it?* she thought.
His hand traveled along Buffy’s hip and brushed across her growing belly. His mind doubted what he felt, so he brushed across more slowly the next time, cupping the usually flat surface. She was pregnant, there was no doubt that time. “Oh, Buffy,” Angel gasped as his heart crumbled. *She had found someone else and didn’t want me. She had found what I told her to look for and now here I am being a jerk and making foolish promises.*
Buffy felt Angel tense in realization in what she had done. She untangled herself from the comfort she once enjoyed. Pacing around the room, her tears flowed again. She knew she had to explain now. There was no getting around it. Briefly stopping when Angel started to speak to her.
“I’m sorry, Buffy…I…I just…” he stammered.
Her pacing picked back up, “Angel, it’s OK. I’m sorry. I’m sorry you ever had to find out,” Buffy babbled nervously trying to get everything she needed to get out before she broke apart in a million unrecoverable pieces. Even the strongest glue couldn’t fix how she felt. “I know you probably can’t stand to look at me or ever forgive me. I’m sorry, I hurt you. I’m 4 months pregnant and only you and Willow know. I can’t face everyone else. They all will ask questions and I…,” she stopped to take a deep breath and plodded along, “I…I just don’t know the answers.”
Buffy stopped and absorbed the sadness in Angel’s eyes. *NO! Look away, Buffy or you won’t finish and you have to finish.* she told herself. “I…I have no answers. Oh, Angel I’m such a slut. How can you look at me? I have no idea who the father of my baby is. I can only figured it happened in November and it most likely had to happen during that time I was drunk and regressed to the cave-like girl. I really have no memory of sleeping with anyone, but yet here’s the proof.” Looking down, Buffy patted her tummy lightly as the tears continued to fall.
She hadn’t noticed Angel approaching stealthily towards her until he was looming directly over. “Buffy,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around her. “I think nothing of the sort like that about you. Come on…come sit with me.” Angel tugged Buffy back to sit on the couch, while he took his place on the coffee table.
Angel reached out and tenderly cupped her cheek, rubbing away her tears with the pad of his thumb. “Buffy, you trust me right? You said you do, so please listen to me and try to believe what I’m telling you. It will be really hard, but just open up, OK?”
Feeling the satin of Angel’s thumb, Buffy nodded and sniffled back further tears, “I’ll try.”
“I was telling you about the Oracles earlier. That wasn’t the first time I have visited them. Remember that day after Thanksgiving when you came here and We fought the demon?”
“Yeah, but you fought the demon. I just watched.”
“No, ‘we’ fought the demon together. We went following after him in the sewers. I continued to look beneath the city in darkness and you went above in the sunlight. I found him and fought with him. Our bloods were mixed and I became human. His blood had regenerative properties. I went and saw the Oracles; they confirmed it. I was no longer a vampire and given a second chance at life.”
“No, that never happened I would remember that,” Buffy shook her head in confused denial.
“Yes, Buffy it happened. I went out in the gloriously warm sunlight and found you. Your hair is so beautiful in the sun.” Angel reached out running his fingers along a lock of golden hair. “The way it sparkles and glimmers. I brought you back here and we tried to take things slow, but it was impossible. We wanted each other to desperately. All the months of yearning and pent-up frustration, we just couldn’t do it. We made love on the kitchen table and broke it,” Angel smirked at the memories of them crashing to the floor. The memories of their passion filled him, warming his usually cool body. Buffy always had a way of filling his senses and boiling his blood.
Tears continued to trickle down Buffy’s flushed cheeks as she glance to the perfectly solid table. “It doesn’t look broken to me?” she questioned, cocking a disbelieving eyebrow.
“There’s more,” he said somberly, praying she will someday forgive him for what he is about to tell her. “After that amazing day in your arms, in bed, Doyle came to me and said he knew where the Demon was. I went after it, but was too weak now to fight. You arrived in time and destroyed him. You helped my injured, bruised body back home. I had a hard time sleeping. I knew now that I was human I could never protect you like I once could. I made the decision for the both of us. I went back to the Oracles and asked them to turn me back.”
Buffy instinctually hit Angel in the shoulder, “God Angel when are you going to stop making my decisions?”
“Oww!” Angel rubbed the inflicted area; “I’ve stopped. I now know better.”
“You better have stopped.”
“Ready to listen?”
“Yeah, go on.”
Angel stood and paces the room, “They had told me you would die without me and so my fate was sealed. There was no question in my mind. They told me they would turn back the hands of time and make it so that day never existed. Only I would ever remember. I’ve had to live with this for months. The knowledge of what could have been.”
“Well, thanks,” sarcasm dripped from her words. “Now to add to my misery, I’m told how I was a hairsbreadth from my dream and I...we both screwed it up.” Buffy patted her belly as a visual reminder of her failure.
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Buffy. I went back another time and spoke to them about Cordelia. They told me the curse was no more. I was told that once two was strong, but soon there will be an uniting third. Follow you heart and be with the third. She will be your ultimate triumphant. This city will go on without you and survive, but the third won't.” Angel stopped to see if what he said was registering with Buffy. “Don’t you see? That is my child you are caring Buffy. That’s why you can’t remember. I took that option away from you. I’m sorry.”
Suddenly Buffy’s head became full of flashing images, everything Angel had described flooded her memory. Enormously overwhelmed, she grabbed her head and whimpered. Angel flew to her side to comfort her. He could tell once Buffy relaxed and gazed up at him that she had remembered everything. Angel pulled Buffy into his lap. He cradled her, letting her devour the amazing events that had just unfolded. They sat in heavy silence.
Unconsciencely, Angel’s hand crept back across Buffy’s belly. His heart raced with joy at the new amazing life growing inside of her. He could barely contain himself. He wanted to smother her with kisses and tell her how wonderful she is. He wanted to show her how extremely sorry he was not being there for her when she found out she was pregnant and the fear she went through thinking she would have to do it all alone.
“Buffy?”
“Yeah?”
“Can…Can I see?” he nervously asked afraid she would reject him.
“Sure.” Buffy answered. Her small hands worked on the overall fastenings, unhooking the top flap, lowering it to expose her stomach. She watched the uncertainty in his eyes. Buffy knew he didn’t want to upset her more, but also could tell how overjoyed he was at the thought of seeing where his child was held. “Go ahead you can touch her.”
Angel’s eyes flew up to Buffy’s in question. He had to be certain it truly would be OK. Buffy saw his apprehension and gave a tiny go-ahead nod. Slowly, Angel held out a trembling hand. His fingertips danced along the still faintly tanned stretched skin leaving electric trail. Buffy watched Angel intently. His eyes over brimmed with love towards her and the child. Angel was in complete and utter awe of Buffy.
So many things had been said, but answers were still left unresolved. He couldn’t wait any longer. Still caressing the warm flesh, he asked, “Buffy? You don’t need to answer me right now, but have you thought about what I said before? About us? Do you want it to be just the tw…three of us?” Every nerve was on edge filled with hope she would agree.
“I’m not sure.” Panic laced through Angel’s body tensing it. Buffy continued, “I need you to promise me something before I can decide. You have to promise to stop making my decisions for me and you have to swear no matter how much you want to you will never decide anything for the baby without my input.”
Angel leaned in close to Buffy as he breathed the words, “I swear I will never ever again decide anything important for you. I will always ask for your input.”
Buffy listened carefully to his words believing him deep in her soul, knowing this could really work.
“Yes, Angel…I want you….I want all of it.”
She knew they had just made huge steps and the road back together would be a rocky one, but to have the family and dream she had always hoped for, all of it would be worth it. The Fates, the Gods and the Oreos had dealt them a winning hand. She wasn’t about to pass it up.
For the first time in what seemed like an eternity their lips met. Brushing tenderly at first. Brushing away the deep soul searing pain, angst, and loss from their lives. The kiss deepened expressing their love, passion and fulfillment they shared and will continue to share. Their love and legacy would now be passed on for generations to come. Both restless souls were finally at peace. All was right with the world and the Gods smiled down on their defining moment.
“I love you,” Buffy breathed against his questing mouth.
Smiling with overwhelming joy he breathed back, “I love you Buffy. “Will you marry me?”
“Yes.”
Simple, clear and the most important defining thing Buffy had ever done.
Buffy shifted so she straddled Angel’s lap. Her arms slid around his neck bringing him closer. Her lips pressed urgently against his increasing their passion. He nibbled her lips in tiny sipping kisses that plucked her wet ones. Angel’s tongue licked out slightly, running across Buffy’s bottom lip causing tingles to run all over their bodies. Her kisses were indescribably sweet and could never get enough of them.
Passion rising rapidly. While kissing, Buffy moved against him. Her soft center grinding against his cock causing him to become harder then he already was, Angel had been hard the moment he first saw her. It happened every time he saw her; the effect on him was deep and could get drunk by just looking at her.
Pulling back slightly from Angel’s mouth, panting; Buffy gave him a luminous smile that lighting the room. “Angel, let’s go to bed.”
“My thoughts exactly,” he grinned taking unneeded breaths.
“No, I mean, I’m exhausted. I really need to sleep. I’m drained, Angel.”
A little pout settled against his handsome face, but he understood and figured there would be other days. The baby had to be a big drain on her petite system and that wasn’t counting the emotional drain she had just gone through. Angel ran a hand softly through her hair, brushing it away from her face, “Sure, I understand. I love you Buffy.”
Nuzzling into his neck she mumbled tiredly, “I love you to.”
Easily picking her up, Angel carried Buffy still wrapped around his body to his bed and set her upon it. Walking to his tall dresser, he pulled out a black T-shirt and handed it to her, “This will be more comfortable to sleep in. If you need anything I’ll just be right out on the couch.”
“Oh,” she whispered sadly.
“What?...What’s the matter?”
“No, it’s OK.”
The bed dipped a bit as Angel sat next to Buffy. “Baby, if you don’t tell me how you feel or what is bothering you, I can’t help. If we want this relationship to work we are going to have to be honest and share our feelings.”
Buffy gave a little giggle, “Do you know how ironic that sounds coming from you, Mr. Shy, No Talk, Brooding Guy?…I just…I just hoped you would be sleeping next to me and holding me all night.”
“I can do that, I ‘want’ to do that.”
“Good,” she smiled starting to take her overalls off. Angel sat uncomfortably next to her, turning away slightly and looking in another direction.
*I can’t look,* he kept repeating to himself over and over. Buffy was just so beautiful and he wanted her so much. He knew if he looked, it would just be more agony.
“Angel it’s OK, I don’t mind you looking.”
He was weak and couldn’t resist. He looked. *Oh, why did I do that?* he scolded himself. He felt his body harden even more just looking at her standing there in her pink striped panties and bra. *Oh, God...I’m in Hell again.* He watched as her ample breasts now spilled over. Slightly groaning as he watched her arms lift and reaching behind to remove her bra.
Buffy noticed Angel’s lustful gaze slid back to the floor. She could see the effect she was having on him and giggled. She heard a groan come from his perfect lips. She sped up her actions deciding it wasn’t fair to torture him any longer, than she already had. Quickly slipping the shirt over her head, she crawled next to him, giving Angel a quick peck on his cheek before slipping under the covers.
Angel stood and started to remove his clothes with as much dignity as he could muster considering the predicament he was in. His boxers tented considerably in the front which helped to cause his embarrassment. Kicking his pants into the corner, Angel began to quickly unbutton his dark silk shirt. Buffy’s eyes were glued to his lean firm body. She couldn’t help watch in anticipation as his wide chest came into view for her. Buffy caught herself panting at the enticing picture he made. *Down girl.*
Buffy moved to lay on her side, so Angel could snuggle up behind her. For the first time in what seemed like forever, Buffy and Angel fell asleep happy and content. There were no nightmares or plaguing thoughts of doom. Just their contracting bodies, warm and cool, lovingly spooned tightly together as if made for one another.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Waking slowly, Buffy could feel Angel stroking her belly mumbling. Keeping still to find out what he was saying she laid there listening to him whisper, while his hand was in constant motion causing unknowing tingles through her already aroused body.
“I can’t wait to meet you. I bet you will have your Mommy’s looks. She’s so beautiful. You’re going to be such a heartbreaker. Guys coming around, hanging out all over you. Daddy might not be able to take that,” Angel gave a small chuckle. “Do you know how much I love you and Mommy?” he paused, “So very much. More then you could ever imagine, Emilee.
“Emilee? Who’s Emilee?” Buffy wondered.
“Your Mommy hasn’t quite agreed to your name yet, but I bet I can persuade her to agree. Just don’t tell her yet, OK? It’s just our little secret.”
“Angel what did I tell you about keeping secrets from me?” she playfully scolded him.
Looking up innocently, but knowing he was caught, Angel’s face broke out in an enormous smile. Angel crawled up the bed, so he could be face to face with Buffy. His hand never left her belly. He was so fascinated. Placing a soft kiss on Buffy’s pouty lips, “Good Morning” he wished.
“Morning,” she smiled gently stroking his arm. Suddenly, Buffy’s eyes grew big and she flew out of bed, running towards the bathroom.
Angel followed right behind her worried. Sounds of retching came from the bathroom before he could make it there. Buffy was hunched over the toilet, slightly shaking, throwing up. He felt so bad she had to go through all of this. It was a real toll on her small body. Gently rubbing her back, Angel gathered her hair and held it out of her way. When she was finished, he handed her a glass of water letting her wash her mouth out. He helped her stand. Buffy quickly brushed her teeth and he carried her back to bed.
“I’ll be right back. I’m going to make some tea to help settle your stomach. Lay right there and don’t move.”
“Angel you don’t have to. I’ll be fine. Just give me a few minutes. It’s just one of the perks of pregnancy,” she gave him a weak giggle.
“Baby, it’s OK…I want to…Now lay there and I’ll be right back.” With that Angel left the room and went to the kitchen.
Angel busied himself making Buffy breakfast. He was thankful it was Saturday and Cordelia and Wesley wouldn’t be in today. Finishing breakfast, Angel placing the white porcelain teapot on a silver tray along side some lightly buttered toast and eggs. Lifting it carefully, he carried it into the bedroom. Buffy stacked pillows behind her to prop her up. He placed the tray cautiously on her lap.
“Mmmm…Angel this smells so good.” Carefully she lifted the amber tea to her lips. It felt good going down and it really did help her stomach. She quickly wolfed down her breakfast. She was starving and between morning sickness and her despair, she hadn’t eaten much in days.
Angel sat at the edge of the bed watching Buffy eat. When she was done, he removed silver tray of almost empty dishes. Bread crust was all that was left. He had watched amused at the way Buffy meticulously ate her toast. She folded the buttered slice in half taking a bite from the center, then nibbled outward, being careful to leave the outside hard crust. Leaving the tray on the counter, he decided the dishes could be done later.
Buffy watched appreciatively as Angel sauntered back to bed; still clad in only boxers. She watched his strong complex muscles ripple and bunch beneath his alabaster skin. The boxers brushed the top of his thighs, accentuating his long lean legs. He was every girl’s dream and Buffy’s reality. *How did I get so lucky?* She questioned not really wanting an answer.
Watching Buffy’s topaz and emerald eyes sparkle at him, Angel could barely believe she was all his. All his. Soon he’d be a father. Never in almost two and a half centuries had he ever thought that he’d become a Dad, let alone love every second.
Buffy lifted the paisley, burgundy and hunter green comforter making a pocket for Angel’s body. He eagerly crawled in the opening and pulled Buffy close to his body. She rested in the crook of his shoulder; her face turning upward to met his intense stare. If anyone else had ever looked at her like that, Buffy would have been scared. When he looked at her like this, her insides melted and her passion skyrocketed. She could feel the familiar low down tickle she loved.
Angel’s body hummed just from the anticipation of her touch. Shifting slightly, their lips met, barely brushing at first, ever increasing the pressure as their arousal followed. Sipping Buffy’s top lip into his mouth, Angel sucked lightly, while his tongue traced along her lips. Her mouth tasted like the honey and lemon tea, so very sweet with just a hint of delightful tang. Her tongue swept against his, tangling to playing. He sucked her tongue, stroking it against his. Chills and fire ran up and down his spine.
She could feel her body speeding up, but yet, relaxing in his arms. Buffy pulled away panting for a quick breath, then promptly returning to taste his mouth more fully. Her tongue stroked the top of his sensitive pallet causing delicious tingles throughout both their bodies. She felt like she was on fire. Only his cool body, touch, and lips could extinguish it, even though they were the very things igniting her passion to a fevered pitch. She felt her center pool with moisture. His cool fingertips danced along her silky skin causing her body to clench in anticipation.
He felt her tiny hand slip to stroke the back of his neck. Buffy’s sky blue fingernails lightly racked against the sensitive skin behind his ear, then drifting to the short hair at the base of his skull. He was already extremely hard and they had barely begun. Angel didn’t know how long he could last before he had to take her, but he was willing to try. Buffy’s hand skimmed across his wide bare chest, tracing the muscles she loved to admire. Her hands were so warm and made him feel that way. He loved to just be near her because she radiated so much heat and passion that it easily transferred to his naturally cool body making him feel alive.
Fingernails grazed Angel’s nipple very softly, causing him to gasp into her mouth. Her hand continued to explore across his solid body. Running her nails up and down his flank, Angel’s cock ached to be buried deep inside her sweet wet body. Her warm hand traveled down to his firm butt. Buffy's hand slipped below the waistband of Angel's boxers. She caressed the smooth flesh, delighting in the feel of his satiny skin.
Large, but soft hands traced Buffy’s still cloth-protected breasts. Angel couldn’t bear it any longer. He had to feel her lush skin. Quickly, lifting and removing the black shirt, so he could worship her properly. His mouth sucked at her tender neck, letting his tongue lave the pliant area. Journeying from Buffy’s jaw to her neck, his mouth found it’s way to her breasts. Angel’s long fingers traced lightly the prominent blue veins of her swollen breasts. He placed tiny fluttery kisses against her soft skin. Every so often, his pink tongue would snake out to taste the salt from her heated body.
The feeling of Angel’s cool mouth engulfing Buffy’s erect nipple was almost more than she could handle. She let out a shuttering breath at the immense pleasure he inflicted. While his mouth induced amazing sensations on her breasts, his hands never stopped their tedious motions. Stroking her body until it felt like she may burst from the intensity of it.
Buffy groaned in frustration. Her head thrown back, pushing her breasts closer to his inviting mouth and hands. Panting, Angel felt like he could come just from the erotic sight of her. He could feel her knee rub against his rigid shaft making him take several deep unneeded breaths. Moving from her breasts, his kisses traveled southward. Angel listened to the little cooing sounds escaping her lips.
Smiling and feeling overwhelming joy at the thought of being a father when he caressed her growing belly. Angel gave the stretched skin wet kisses. Joy turned to concern. Looking up at Buffy questions deep in his dark eyes.
“Buffy, are you sure it’s OK for us to be doing this? I don’t want to possibly hurt the baby.”
Stroking his worried cheek, “Angel honey…I’m sure it’s OK…Baby, you are big, but not that big.” Buffy began to giggle hysterically.
Exasperated, “I didn’t mean it like that.”
Still giggling, “I know honey. I just couldn’t resist.” Despite his frustration at her, Angel felt wonderful that she was finally so lighthearted.
“It is don’t worry. The doctor told me it was. I lied about being married, so she thought I was concerned about sex while pregnant and said it was OK.”
A dark lustful look etched across Angel’s face. Chocolate brown eyes rimmed in gold flashed at her, giving a deep possessive growl. “Soon you won’t be lying,” smirking up at her. His lips went back to teasing her flesh.
Still planting kisses along her body when he easily moved between her thighs, nuzzling his cheek against her smooth inner thigh. Angel slipped his fingers under the pink striped fabric, lifting and sliding them away from Buffy’s body; tossing them across the room. He used his nimble fingers to spread her moist glistening folds. She was already swollen from the pregnancy, but with her arousal, the sensations had heightened.
Angel loved the musky scent of her passion. He inhaled deeply, savoring the aroma. No longer being able to just look at her, his tongue snaked out tracing her wet crevice. He could feel her small fingers weave into his spiky hair. Swirling his tongue in the tangy juices, savoring her luscious flavor, he began teasing, then sucking at her engorged clit. Sipping the aroused bud into his mouth, Buffy’s hands tightened at the back of his head, pushing her hips towards his busy mouth encouraging his efforts more fully.
“OH…GOD…YES,” she shrieked.
Buffy felt the deep burning tension in her womb growing as Angel’s mouth worked bringing her rapidly towards completion. Suddenly he stopped. Buffy let out a very displeased groan. Looking up at her dewy flushed face and lust glazed eyes; Angel couldn’t take it any longer. Grabbing the sheet, Angel wiped his face off, before stripping his boxers off in an extreme frustrated hurry, he crawled up the side of her petite body, careful not to place any weight on her. He was still weary of hurting the baby.
Their lips met again passionately, while their tongue played. Buffy could faintly taste herself on his powerful lips. She was so close to climaxing, her body vibrated with need for release. Buffy tired desperately grabbing his butt to pull him on top of her, but he wouldn’t budge.
“What’s the matter? I need you?” Buffy whined flustered.
“You on top.” Angel flipped their positions and Buffy rested against this whole body. Their limbs tangled together, hot and steamy, sliding against each other.
Buffy’s thigh spread and moving to straddle Angel’s upper thighs. His rampant shaft stood proud and erect. She had never seen him so aroused. She dragged her fingers along his shaft, from the downy base to the velvet tip. Buffy watched his whole body react in impassioned shutters as her fingers played with the rich textures.
Angel felt like his skin was too tight. He was so rigid and tense. He had a torrid of sensations run through his body, consuming him. His large hands gripped her hips trying to force her down on his raging cock. Her name came out on a frustrated, yet demanding growl, “Buffy.”
She kept teasing him, brushing the angry tip of his hard shaft against her soft wet center. No longer being able to take it any more of her teasing, he let out a low rumbling growl from deep in his chest. Finally, getting a good grip, Angel helped to steady her, so she could envelop his hungry flesh.
Buffy enjoyed the velvet tip of Angel’s cock running along her slit. She had a deep hunger for him. She lifted her hips further off of him. Moving so Angel’s turgid length could find her dripping center. Buffy gripped his cock lightly, helping it to guide easily into her tight body. With all the swelling her body had incurred lately, she felt like she was going to be split in two by his girth. She felt her body opening, stretching, and pulling to accommodate his hard girth. She throbbed and ached, but it was an ache she desperately missed and yearned for.
Angel could feel Buffy guide him to her center, finding her dripping divot. Angel pushed up as Buffy pushed down on him. Her slippery wetness helped to aid their infusion. She was so tight he couldn’t help, but groan his gratitude. He could feel her throbbing answer his own. Their nerve endings were rubbed so raw with passion they were utterly consumed in each other.
She sat astride him for a few moments before moving still letting her body accommodate him. The waiting was killing him, but he knew she needed it. When Buffy was ready, she slowly began to rock her hips back and forth, shifting his body against hers. She was clumsy at first, unsure in her movements since this was Buffy’s first time in this position and being in control. She was tentative starting off, but then to begin to like the power after a while. Angel’s hands held Buffy’s rounded hips firmly against his, aiding and help guiding her movements, until she found a rhythm that suited her.
Buffy slid her slippery silken passage slowly up Angel’s thick length, only to slam back down on him harder and harder every time. Angel’s thrusts were met in equal force by Buffy’s. Their rhythm quickly sped up from the initial beginning slower pace. She rocked her hips in a clockwise pattern, grinding her pulsing clit against his pubic bone, thus causing a sensuous friction for them both.
They locked hands, so Buffy could use their strength for leverage, but it also gave them a unity. Their bodies acting as one fused together in all consuming passion frantically grinding, crashing, clenching, rocking, and throbbing. Each body ravished the other, worshiping it fully.
As the muscles tightened in Angel’s strong body, he could no longer be in complete control. His body burned and pulsed as Buffy’s body rode his. She was thrusting down even harder still, her body slick with sweat, golden hair slightly matted and sticking to the flushed damp skin, her eyes dark and intensely focused. Angel could feel his body rapidly building to orgasm as he watched Buffy move on him.
Buffy watched as Angel slipped into gameface. Her inner muscles clenched and gripped Angel’s length. She could feel him get even harder, throbbing as she stroked her body against his thrusting and grinding. Her breathing was erratic, coming in gasps and moans. She was barely hanging on, ready to climax. Her hips churning a frantic rhythm against his pushing hard to send them over the edge in to sated bliss.
Feeling the inner pressure in his sac gathering to unbearable levels, Angel loosened a hand from their bond. Sliding it against her firm swollen breasts, down the swell of her abdomen to where they were joined. Angel brushed his thumb up to Buffy’s throbbing clit, letting her rub hard against it. He needed her to come with him. He needed to share the absolute ecstasy with her.
His thumb stroked her pulsing bud and she welcomed it. She rode hard against it, shifting and moving; feeling the explosion gaining strength. Buffy could feel Angel’s erection shifting, hitting different places inside her tight center as he moved to sit up and kissing her neck adding to the climactic sensations.
There was a slight prick at her neck; Angel carefully slid his fangs into her neck, only taking a mouthful. Buffy could no longer contain the tension dangling by a thin string in her body. At the feel of his fangs piercing her tender neck, she slammed down on his raging cock one last time. Buffy’s body snapped, exploding into vivid waves of intense white-hot quaking tremors. Her core grasped him firmly contracting around the firm length, clenching fiercely around him. Her whole body shook with convulsive tremors. She could feel Angel coming with her, jerking roughly up into her, causing more shudders.
Sitting up Angel held Buffy tightly to his body feeling their slick skin rubbing. His countering thrusts became jerky. His lips brushed her smooth neck tasting the salt collected there. Very gently, Angel pressed his fangs to her hot flesh, pricking her neck, letting a just a few drops hit his tongue. Letting the coppery, tangy liquid flow over his pallet sent him over the edge. Angel felt as though an electric current sped through him as his body spasmed beneath Buffy’s. He clung to her body, clutching at her as his body jerked roughly upward, causing him to explode into jerky shudders as he spilled his cool seed, filling her quaking passage.
Collapsing her lithe body against Angel’s sated one; Buffy let out a content sigh, snuggling into him, letting her body come off the intense high. They were still intimately joined; neither of them wanted to move. Buffy could feel Angel still lapping at the closing twin punctures. He was blissfully purring for her as she stroked his cheek. Angel’s hands drew absent circles on Buffy’s back. They laid in content silence, just enjoying their closeness.
“I love you,” Angel whispered against her moth capturing a gently kiss.
Breaking from the kiss, Buffy murmured against his mouth, “I love you too.”
“So…what do you think about the name Emilee?”
The End?