Of Drawings and Daydreams

SPOILER WARNING: 'Innocence' be damned--it never happened. This is a happy story!
RATING: PG-14
FEEDBACK: PLEASE! Unless you want me to quit writing fan-fic and take up rug hooking.
CONTENT: A little sexual innuendo, but nothing a normal viewer of the show couldn't read.
SUMMARY: After Buffy discovers some of Angel's old drawings, she asks him to draw them together. This is another in the Fluff Series.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Buffy and Angel. Joss and the WB do. I'll return them when I'm finished in the same condition I got them in.
NOTES: I'm once again operating under the assumption that vampires can be photographed based on "Halloween" and "Lie To Me" from last season. There is a touch of unavoidable angst, but it's brief and nothing compared to some of the stuff I've written. I also don't know how the drawings would have survived Angel's lifestyle during the years after the curse to when Whistler found him, but we're going to pretend and say they were in a safety deposit box in Switzerland or something.

Buffy glanced at her boyfriend sitting on the couch with phone in hand, explaining to Giles that she had already hunted tonight and deserved rest, not a second patrol. The couple had gone to the cemetery and between smoochies had killed four vampires, which had left the Slayer and her vampire boyfriend pretty wiped. When Giles had called to recommend another patrol, based on the age old philosophy that 'it's been quiet around here, they must be up to something,' Angel had quickly taken the phone from Buffy before her objections could turn to whining so that he could explain things to Giles calmly and rationally, as he knew the Slayer would not.

"Giles, I implore you. You aren't looking at her right now; she looks terrible and she needs rest, not another round of patrol. She's tired, and when a Slayer is tired, she's vulnerable and when she's vulnerable the odds of her getting hurt, or worse, are much greater. You must realize this." Buffy smiled to herself at Angel's quite convincing argument. It definitely beat the one she had planned out: "I don't wanna and you can't make me." She was actually feeling pretty rested now that she'd relaxed, but a second patrol was still something she wanted to pass on. Hopefully Angel would lay it on thick enough for her to do just that.

As she walked around, waiting for the verdict, she ended up doing a little snooping. She meandered over to his desk and opened the bottom drawer which she had never looked in before. Opening the drawer, she found papers, many of which looked very, very old and fragile, tied together with a red ribbon. Delicately, she pulled the papers out to find drawings, hundreds of them, stacked up from newest to oldest.

She glanced at Angel, whose back was to her as he listened to Giles speaking on the other end of the phone before she looked back at the drawings. She pulled off the ribbon gently and began looking through the drawings, the newest of which still appeared to be quite old. Some were of buildings, places, landscapes, trees, flowers, birds and other such things.

Moving past the newer drawings, she came to ones that appeared to be almost a hundred years old, judging by their color and the feel of the paper. The black ink in which they were drawn had faded slightly over time, but the images were still vibrant and fresh. Buffy moved past a drawing of an old building and found one of a face she recognized. Darla.

She was sitting in a chair, looking regal in an old fashioned dress, and every line of the picture seemed to radiate love. It was then that Buffy realized that these were drawn before Angel had regained a soul. The next one was of Drusilla, the same careful pen strokes illuminated this drawing as well. The next was Spike, his hair dark and a smile on his face. Buffy thought about how this had been drawn when Spike and his sire had been on friendly terms, and just how long ago that seemed to her. There were other drawings as well past them; buildings, landscapes, but they were far fewer in number than the ones she'd seen in the more recent drawings. Most of the pictures were of his three immortal companions.

She barely heard the click of Angel hanging up the phone or the sound of his footsteps as he walked up behind her and knelt at her side. "Boo," he whispered, causing her to drop the drawing in her hand and nearly jump. "Giles let you off the hook for tonight." he smiled as his eyes traveled over the drawings and finally rested on the one she'd dropped. "Snooping?"

"I guess." she answered as he sat down beside her on the floor as she again began looking at the drawings once more. He said nothing for a long time as she passed more drawings of Drusilla, Darla and Spike and various other things until they came to a still older drawing near the bottom of the pile of a woman. "Who's she?" Buffy asked.

"My mother. That one was done when I was eighteen, I think, before...before everything went wrong. These are over two hundred years old. I've kept pretty much everything I drew." Buffy examined the picture closer and could see the resemblance in Angel's eyes and the color of his hair. She moved past it to another one, again of Angel. The hair was different, and he looked a bit younger, but it was clearly a very human Angel. "Self portrait, looking in the mirror." The rest of the images were mostly of landscapes, objects and other such things. The last one in the pile was a black ink drawing of a sunrise coming up over a horizon. "I don't think I captured it." Angel gently smiled.

"These are amazing, Angel..." Buffy whispered quietly. "But...." she began but her voice trailed off into nothing.

"Where are the pictures of you if I drew everyone else in my life over the past two hundred years?" Angel filled in, and she merely nodded her head slowly. He smiled gently and took her hand into his and pulled her from the floor. Wordlessly, he lead her into the bedroom.

There, he knelt beside the bed and reached under it while the Slayer watched and pulled out a large wooden box. He set it down in front of them and motioned for her to open it. She held her breath as she lifted the lid and saw them; perhaps seventy five ink drawings of her. The one on top was of her during her sleep in Angel's bed, curled up in the blanket. She wordlessly just looked at him, "Why do you think I'm always tired in the morning?" he asked with a small grin.

Without words she went through the portraits of herself slowly, noticing how they had changed over time as her appearance had changed, revealing that he'd been drawing them for longer than they'd been lovers. When she finally got to the end, she turned to Angel and he could see tears in her eyes. "Don't start crying on me, Beloved." he quietly whispered as he gathered her into his arms.

"I...I just never expected...I mean...I didn't know." she whispered into his chest as he tightly held her. "Could you draw another one for me?" she asked, wiping the tears from her eyes. He looked at her silently, waiting for her to continue, "Of us, together?" she asked quietly, "I'd really like one of the two of us."

"I can't," he answered softly, "I can't draw myself, I can only draw what I see. I can't see myself in a mirror anymore, so...." his voice trailed off as her eyes lit with an idea.

"But we can photograph you. And you could draw from the picture." Buffy's expression immediately brightened, "And Willow has a Polaroid camera, so we wouldn't have to wait for pictures to be developed. We can go to her house and get it."

"She's going to want to know what we want with a Polaroid camera," Angel seductively replied as he wrapped an arm around her waist gently as the pair stood up from the floor.

"I'm sure that Willow's mind is not that dirty as to suspect something like that!" Buffy quickly replied as she wiped away the last of the tears from her eyes that had been replaced with a smile as she went to grab her coat so that they could retrieve the camera from Will's so that her boyfriend could get to work on the drawing.

Fifteen minutes later they were outside Willow's bedroom. Angel knocked on the door and together they waited for the hacker to answer it. When she did, Willow smiled at the sight of her friends. "Hey, guys. What's up?" Willow asked, motioning for them to come into her room. They entered and waited for Willow to tuck away her unmentionables out of Angel's view.

"We need to borrow something for a project. We need your Polaroid camera." Willow's face immediately turned bright red and her eyes immediately went to the floor out of embarrassment. "Not for that! I need to take a picture of Angel so he can see what he looks like." Oh, yeah, perfectly believable story, Buffy thought to herself. Willow just looked at her strangely, "I want him to do a self portrait of himself and since he can't look in a mirror, we need to take a picture and since we don't want to have to wait around for One Hour Photo so we want to use the Polaroid."

Angel nodded in agreement, backing up the Slayer's story for the hacker, "Oh...oh! Okay. It's in my closet, I'll find it." With that, Willow went off to search for the camera in her bedroom closet.

While the hacker searched for the camera, Angel leaned over and whispered into her ear, "And you said her mind wasn't that dirty," Buffy giggled and shrugged her shoulders.

"It's always the quiet ones that no one suspects," Buffy smiled back as Willow returned with the camera in hand. "Thanks, Will. I'll bring it back to you when we're done with it. I want to get Angel into a good pose." Willow's face immediately flushed again, "Not like that!" Buffy protested.

"Good-bye, Willow," Angel smiled as he pulled his girlfriend out of the room and out the door before she could jam her foot down her throat any more than she already had and led her back to the car so they could go home.

Once back at Angel's apartment, Buffy ordered Angel to stand against the wall so she could take a few pictures of him. "Now give me sexy," she grinned as she clicked a pic of Angel. She took several more, just to be sure she got at least one good shot, though she suspected every picture of him would be good, and waited for them to develop.

She laid them all on the coffee table and waited for them all to clear up, "What do you think, Mr. Artist?" she asked the vampire at her side once the pictures were all fully developed. She picked up one that she particularly liked and held it up, "How about this one?" Angel was still looking at the pictures silently, "Earth to Angel."

"Hmmm? Oh, that one's okay, I guess."

"It's giving you the wiggins, isn't it?" Buffy asked softly.

"Kind of. You get used to not seeing yourself, and when you do, it's just strange." Angel answered, turning his eyes from the pictures to his girlfriend at his side.

"Do you miss it? Seeing your reflection?" Buffy inquired. Angel thought briefly about his answer and then shook his head.

"There's no point in missing what you cannot have ever again. But there are times when I see you pass the mirror and you can see yourself, and I envy you that but I don't think I miss it anymore. And this conversation is far too dark. No brooding tonight." he put on a smile and kissed her forehead gently.

"No brooding? I never thought I'd hear you say those words." she kidded as his hand snaked around and touched her back gently. "Okay, we have a No Brooding Guarantee." she said, taking the picture she had chosen and setting it aside from the other ones. "How do you want me to pose?" she asked, "Do you want me to do the 'Titanic' pose?" she grinned.

"Not as of right now, although it's quite tempting. I was thinking of just doing your face. So, you can sit however you want to." Buffy complied with the vampire's request and sat down on the couch casually as he left the room to retrieve a pen and a sketchbook. When he returned, he sat in his recliner, placing the Polaroid that she'd chosen in one corner of the book. "Tilt your head a little to your left." he requested, and she did so.

She watched as his pen went to the paper and she could hear the scratches of the ball-point pen against the sheet. His dark, sable eyes lifted every once and a while to look at her and then went back to the paper. "Why do you only look up occasionally?" Buffy asked, breaking the silence of the room that had filled it for almost fifteen minutes.

"This is going to sound really, really silly, but I've memorized your face. I know the curves, the lines, the planes, the valleys, all of it like I know the back of my own hand." Angel replied, he sounded slightly embarrassed and his pale cheeks flushed with a tint of pink.

"That's not silly. It's sweet." Buffy smiled back.

"I watch you sleep sometimes," he admitted, "When I wake up in the middle of the night because I'm not used to sleeping during the evening, I watch you sleep. I know that must sound so stupid, but of everything I will remember of you, I think that will stand out in my mind as some of the best."

"You'd better watch it or I'm going to start crying again," Buffy whispered as her eyes clouded with tears.

"Well, we can't have that." he grinned as his pen went over the paper once more in slow strokes. "How about a new topic? Your birthday is coming up. Eighteen." he reminded her, as though she could really forget. It was a big one, after all.

"I know. Do you know what I want for my birthday?" she asked, Angel glanced up and shook his head as he thought to what he had already gotten her and hoped that he wouldn't have to take it back, "I want to move in with you. That's my birthday wish." Angel stopped drawing, his pen dropped to the page with a slight, audible thump. "What? Don't you want to live with me?"

"It's not that. It's just...I mean it's a big step. You haven't even told your mother that we're dating yet." Angel reminded her as he got over his surprise at his girlfriend's revelation and went back to drawing.

"I know," Buffy warily smiled, "Still, I think living together would be cool. I mean, I practically do anyway. I can't think of anything better than waking up with you and going to sleep with you every night."

"I can't either. In fact, I'd love to play 'house' with you."

"Did you know that I actually have daydreams about us living together?" Angel slowly shook his head as she continued, "It's funny, I mean, of all the things to fantasize about."

"I'm a little surprised that all of your fantasies involve domestic situations." Angel interrupted with a smirk.

"Well, not all of them." Buffy slyly answered. "Anyway, it's how I get through history class, actually. I dream about what it would be like to live together...where my stuff would go in your apartment, what color curtains we'd have. Stupid stuff like that."

"It's not stupid. It's no more stupid than me watching you sleep." Angel protested.

"No, I guess not. Anyway, I think about stuff like having dinner together, doing the dishes together, sitting on the couch and watching "X-Files" on Sunday nights." Angel quietly chuckled, it soon spread to the Slayer who couldn't help but laugh a little. "I know...I shouldn't look forward to doing dishes with you, but I do. I must be sick, huh?" she asked, a slight smile playing on her lips.

"No, you're not sick. I'd love to do dishes with you. However, I think we should get past the issue of your mother first. Once you tell her that you're dating an older man and want to move in with him, then we'll discuss closet space." Angel smiled gently over his pen and paper.

"'Older man'? Angel, you redefine 'older man.' I'm just glad you're so well preserved. You may be a geezer, but I love you anyway." Angel appreciated the change of subject off of Buffy's mother to a much lighter topic than that of Joyce's anticipated reaction to their relationship.

"'Geezer'? I am not!" Angel playfully protested.

"I meant 'geezer' in the kindest possible way, but, Angel, you're two hundred and fifty years old. You're an old geezer, accept it and move on."

"I'm not two hundred and fifty. I'm two hundred and forty three. And that's beside the point!"

Don't take it personally, Angel. So you're old...so what? I think older men are sexy." Angel quietly laughed as he continued with his drawing, now looking to the Polaroid of himself that Buffy had taken.

"The older the better?" he inquired.

"Oh, yeah," she seductively grinned.

"Well, you would be hard pressed to find someone older than me, so I guess I'll take that as a compliment." he replied. Buffy shifted her position on the couch and turned her head to look at Angel more closely. His dark eyes were on the paper, watching as his pen glided over the paper, each of his strokes was confident and sure.

"You're a cute geezer," Buffy smiled as she tried to look at the drawing in progress on the page but she was unable to see it from her position. She wanted a look at the drawing that her boyfriend was working so hard on and she couldn't resist an attempted sneak peek.

"And the 'cute geezer' is telling you to sit back and relax while I finish instead of getting all antsy. I'll be done soon." Angel went back to the drawing as Buffy shifted on the couch in eager anticipation of the picture that he'd been toiling at.

Finally, after what seemed to be forever, Angel set his pen aside, signaling that he had completed his drawing. Buffy sat up and waited in anticipation for its display. The vampire turned the pad of paper so that she could see the sketch, and for a moment she couldn't breathe. He had managed to capture not only her face, but his as well from the photograph. The two lovers were facing each other, looking into the other's face, the love and magnetism obvious in the eyes as they appeared to look into the other's soul. "How is it?" Angel asked as Buffy gulped for air finally.

"It's beautiful," she quietly whispered, her eyes not moving from the drawing in front of her.

"So, what are you going to do with it?" Angel asked as he handed her the piece of paper. She traced her fingers over the figures slowly as she considered Angel's question.

"I don't know. I think I'm going to have it framed. Maybe put it on the wall when we move in together." she smiled as Angel rose and slipped an arm around her shoulder. "Until then, I guess I'll keep it next to my diary." she stated while carefully setting it down on the coffee table so she could properly hug her boyfriend.

"Diary...the one with entries about the charming foreign exchange student? Achmed, wasn't it?" Angel asked with a small knowing smile.

"The very same. And wouldn't you know it, I fell head over heels in love with him...even if he is an old geezer." she slipped her arms around her boyfriend's neck and tangled her fingers gently into his hair as she spoke.

Taking his hand into hers, they slowly began meandering toward the bedroom while Angel, with a touch of sarcasm, stated, "I thought he was a *student,*" as they walked through the bedroom doorway.

"Whatever." Buffy responded. She kissed her vampire boyfriend while wrapping one arm around his waist and using the other hand to shut the door behind them.

The End