This Is A Grocery Store

This Is A Grocery Store, Angel

SPOILER WARNING: Before Innocence. It's just a nice Buffy/Angel fluff story so it is set before the whole Joss'-Acid-Trip-Soul-Loss- Nonsense. In my world, Buffy and Angel can have sex without him losing his soul.
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNING: Some kissing but that's it. It's okay for anyone to read I think.
SUMMARY: Buffy takes Angel grocery shopping. A weird plot, yes, but it actually makes a little sense as you read it. It is just a cute little fluffy story intended on supplying a few giggles.
DISCLAIMER: I own Buffy and Angel, (okay, Buffy is my new goldfish and Angel is my new, you guessed it, angel fish, not the characters. I don't own the characters, I'm sad to say. Pathetic huh? I named my new fish after Buffy and Forever Knight characters. I have fish named Angel, Buffy, Spike, Drusilla, LaCroix, Nick, Vachon and Janette. I need a life, I know....)

Angel groaned as the knocking on his door disturbed his slumber. He opened his brown eyes slowly focusing them on his alarm clock. Not that he needed an alarm clock, since his internal clock was accurate enough to tell him when the sun had set, it was mostly there so he knew how early it was whenever Giles called him with a question regarding some new vampire threat. The florescent red numbers read 4:46. Not too long before he was supposed to be up but still long enough for him to be groggy.

He rose from bed and rubbed his eyes slowly, attempting to clear away the remnants of vampire sleep from them and made his way to the door, careful not to stumble over any objects in his sleep depraved state. He had never known Giles to make house calls, especially in the middle of the day, so he was curious to see who it was.

The vampire opened the door to reveal Buffy. He probably should have guessed, but it wasn't like her to come over when she knew Angel was sleeping. Her blonde hair was up in a ponytail and she was in her school clothes, a skirt and a tank-top. "You know I love seeing you, but couldn't it have waited for a few more hours?" Angel asked with a yawn.

"You're cute when you first wake up. Your hair is a little funky, but it's still cute." she replied, not giving him an answer, as she stepped inside. As she did, Angel ran his fingers through his hair to stop it from being 'funky.' "You know, I had a thought when I was in history class."

"Well, that's good. You're supposed to have thoughts while in school, it's kind of the idea, as I dimly recall. But it probably doesn't have anything with history, does it?" the immortal asked as he walked to his kitchen with the slayer at his heels. He made it to the refrigerator and pulled out a bag of blood from the back.

"No. It was about you, actually." the Chosen One replied with a smile. "I was thinking that we should go shopping."

"I like my decor, thank you. It adds to the brooding. You aren't touching the furniture, end of discussion." Angel protested as he emptied the contents of the blood bag into a glass. Buffy crinkled her nose a little but watched as he took a sip of the plasma based liquid. It was something that he had to do so she knew she had to accept it. After all, a main part of love is acceptance.

"I don't mean the furniture. I mean I think we should go grocery shopping. I mean, you can eat real food, right?" Angel looked at her in disbelief that she actually wanted to take him, a 242 year old vampire, grocery shopping.

"Yes. Not that I have any need to do so, but I can. I have no real need to spend my money on food that I don't need to eat...." the immortal began but was silenced by a wave of Buffy's hand as she interrupted.

"Okay, here's a new perspective. My mother is going out of town for a week so I am going to be by myself. And since the vampire activity lately has been pretty much nil, Giles has given me some time off. He thinks I'm going to be home every night this week studying. Seeing my drift? I get to spend a nice week here with you every night, that is if you will have me." she said with a hopeful smile.

"You don't even need to ask. Of course I'll have you. I love having you around, you know that, but what about that studying? I have to assume that if you're here there will be a lot more kissing than studying going on." he said with a sly, sexy smile that always managed to reduce Buffy's knees to jelly.

"Well, maybe you can help me study...when we're not kissing. But the point is, if I'm going to be here all week, I'm going to need food to eat, hence the grocery shopping. It'll be fun, we'll do it together. Okay, so it's not the traditional dinner date, but we're not exactly traditional anyway. And it'll be a good chance for you to get into the human world for a while. Did they have grocery shopping in the 1700's?" the slayer inquired as she watched Angel take another sip of blood, this time she didn't cringe at all.

"Not precisely." Angel replied, remembering the marketplaces of his Irish home town.

"Great, so it will be a new experience for you." Buffy said, clasping her hands together as the vampire regarded her with a cocked eyebrow and a doubtful expression.

"Sky diving would be a new experience for me, that doesn't mean I want to waste a whole night to go and do it." Angel responded. Buffy stared at him, putting her hands on her hips in annoyance. "You aren't going to take no for an answer, are you?"

"No, I'm not. I have to eat while I'm here and unlike you, blood just isn't my thing." he glanced at her, she sighed softly. "I didn't mean that in the bad, you know that."

"Yeah, I know."

"Besides, it's time you were introduced to the world of the produce aisle." the slayer stated, Angel sighed softly in defeat. "I knew you would see it my way."

"Okay, fine, we'll go grocery shopping. But I have another question for you." he said waited a beat, she made a hand motion for him to ask, "why did you come before the sun came down?" the vampire asked, unable to suppress a yawn.

"Because I wanted to see you in your pajamas." she joked, motioning to his sweat pants and lack of shirt. "Seriously, I came early so we could make a grocery list before we go...but that doesn't take very long so I was hoping that we could find some way to pass the time." the suggestive tone in her voice instantly woke Angel up completely.

He smiled and bent to kiss her, but her hand quickly caught his chin and forced it away. "No way! You have blood breath! March yourself into that bathroom right now and wash your mouth out with Listerine. Just because I can watch you eat doesn't mean I want to kiss you after you've eaten. Yuck!" she said with a grimace. Angel went to the bathroom as quickly as possible to honor her request by gargling with some fresh mint mouthwash.

After returning from the bathroom he found the slayer sitting on the couch waiting for him. He walked over to her and sat beside her. "So...who's going to make the first move?" Buffy asked her preternatural boyfriend. He grinned a somewhat predatory grin and gently pulled her against him and smothered her with kisses.

An hour later, and a half an hour before the sun went down the vampire and the slayer had ceased their making out at Buffy's insistence, saying that they had work to do. Work came in the form of the grocery list that she was determined the pair draw up.

"Why do we need a list?" Angel inquired as the Chosen One readied the pen and paper she had found in Angel's desk.

"So we don't forget anything when we go shopping. It's standard operating procedure, Angel. You write down everything you want to get so you don't forget the important stuff. Okay, what should we buy?" she asked, turning to face her boyfriend.

"You're asking the vampire what *food* we should buy?" Angel asked, arching his eyebrow slowly.

"Hmm. Good point. Okay, we need chips, and soda. A lot of soda. And microwave popcorn." Buffy said, jotting down each thing onto her list. Angel coughed politely to interrupt her.

"Um, in order to microwave popcorn, one would need a microwave, I'm assuming. I don't have one." the vampire interjected, causing his slayer girlfriend to sigh softly. "Well, I'm sorry, but I never had a need for one before now. When I furnished the apartment and the kitchen I really never expected to have a girlfriend with an affliction for microwave popcorn."

"That's okay. We'll just have to buy something else. Bagged popcorn." Buffy stated as she wrote that down as well.

"Here's a crazy thought, what about actual food? Or are you just planing on eating junk food for an entire week? I don't know a whole lot about regular food but I do know enough to know that junk food isn't very good for you." Angel replied as he smoothed back a strand of her hair with his fingertips, his touch causing her to melt.

"I know. That's why I'm going to cook actual meals for us." Buffy stated with a grin.

"This may be a stupid question, but *can* you cook?"

"Well, I haven't tried before, but if my mom can do it then I can too. It can't be all that hard." Angel sighed softly as he pressed his lips against her hair.

"Honey...Beloved...cooking is not passed down genetically like a chromosome. It requires practice, and...and if you burn down my kitchen, I will be most upset."

"Practice? Please. Just follow a recipe and that's it. You give me no credit, Angel." Buffy replied firmly as she looked back down to her list and began writing down items she'd need to make the dinners she was planning on creating in Angel's kitchen.

Angel watched her and listened as she explained that she was going to make lasagna, chicken and a number of other things. As he listened to her lofty plans for creating culinary delicacies only one thing came to mind. *Mental note: find that fire extinguisher.*

But before the fire extinguisher would be necessary, they would first have to complete their shopping. As Buffy put the finishing touches on her shopping list Angel took a quick shower and then changed into a pair of black pants, a crimson shirt and a black leather jacket to top it all off. Once the sun had set and the slayer had completed her task of mapping out all the items she planned on buying the couple left the apartment for their destination; the grocery store.

The electronic doors of Sunnydale's Shop And Save hummed and opened as the pair entered, allowing admittance to the slayer and her preternatural boyfriend. The pair entered hand in hand, "This is a grocery store, Angel." Buffy said, making a hand motion to include everything. Angel glanced around and noted all the people pushing carts full of items.

Buffy then led him over to a row of carts, "And this is a grocery cart." she stated as she chose one. "You put the things you want to buy in it." Buffy said, running her hand over the metal briefly.

"Gee, am I going to be tested on this? Should I be taking notes?" Angel asked with a hint of sarcasm. "I'm a quick learner, I'm sure I'll catch on."

"Sorry. Just trying to be helpful." Buffy replied with a small smile.

Angel smiled back and took his position behind the cart, pushing it down the aisles at Buffy's directions. She pulled out her all important list and read the first item. "We need tomatoes." she stated as she made a motion for Angel to steer the cart to the produce aisle.

As they stood at by the tomatoes Buffy began attempting to chose a few tomatoes by feeling them and squeezing them in order to pick the ripest, best ones.. "Beloved, why are you fondling the vegetables?" Angel inquired with a strange expression on his face.

"First of all, it's not a vegetable, it's a fruit. Second of all, I'm trying to find the best ones." Buffy replied as she found one to her liking and put it in a bag.

"But wouldn't the best ones have been bought already?" the vampire inquired, getting a loud groan from Buffy.

"I'm not even going to answer that." she stated as she chose another veget...fruit from the bin and put it in her plastic bag. "You are such a pessimist." she said quickly. Satisfied with her tomato purchases she sealed the bag with a orange clip and placed it in the cart Angel was in charge of pushing.

"Someone has to be." he grinned as he pushed the cart down the aisle.

After leaving the produce section the couple ventured into the snack food section of the grocery store. Buffy immediately began picking out the snack food items that she wanted, Angel simply remained back as she gathered bags of chips, cookies and candy in her arms. Once she had gotten all the junk food she could carry she took it back to the cart and dropped all the bags in.

"I can't believe you can eat all that." Angel said, his eyes growing large as he stared at the snack foods now in the cart.

"I have great metabolism." The slayer reasoned. "And slaying burns a lot of calories."

"I guess. But I don't remember half of this stuff being on that list. Snack cakes? I *know* that wasn't written down anywhere." the vampire stated, looking to his girlfriend for an explanation.

"What? I just decided to get it, do you have a problem with that?" the Chosen One asked, putting her hands on her hips in an authoritative posture.

"As a matter of fact...I just don't understand why you were so animate on making a list of things you intended on buying when you knew you were just going to deviate from it and purchase things that were not on said list." Angel said with a small grin as he shrugged his shoulders slowly.

Buffy rolled her eyes before grabbing Angel's coat collar and pulling him down for a kiss. They kissed briefly before she pulled away, "Honey, don't question me. You may be older than me, but I'm the one with grocery shopping experience. You are to observe and learn, not dispute me." she stated firmly before placing another kiss on his waiting lips.

"Yes ma'am." Angel whispered submissively before kissing her once more.

They moved out of the snack food section toward the soda and drink aisle. As soon as they reached it Buffy went to grab two twelve packs of Jolt. "Oh no." Angel said quickly as she attempted to put them in the cart. "We are not getting that soda that's laced with caffeine. No way. I've *seen* you on caffeine, it's not a pretty sight." Angel said, crossing his arms over his chest.

He recalled the night that he had wanted to simply spend a nice relaxing evening at home but Buffy came over, which normally would have been a great thing, but she had come after having drank six cans of Jolt. The vampire slayer was almost bouncing off of the walls with a caffeine buzz for five hours before the caffeine eventually wore off. He was not about to relive that particular evening again, not if he could help it.

"But Angel...." Buffy protested the banning of her favorite soda from the cart. "It's like asking *you* not to drink blood!" she said a little too loudly, a few shoppers regarded her and Angel with curious looks. If vampires could blush, Angel would have been bright red, just as Buffy was.

Once the shoppers stopped staring and went back to playing their part in commerce Buffy let out a soft sigh before continuing her little mini-argument with her preternatural boyfriend. "But look, it's on the list. Right under chips. You're the one who said I should follow the list...." Angel took the list from her hand and scanned it to make sure that 'Jolt' was actually written on it. He found it exactly where she said it was. Reluctantly he let out a defeated sigh.

"I can't believe you are using my own argument against me. That's really unfair." Angel grumbled as he handed the list back to her.

"Turnabout is fair play, Honey." Buffy stated as she set the soda in the cart.

"So," Angel began to change the subject a little, "What's next on your holy list?" he asked with a hint of sarcasm. Buffy gave him a short glare before looking to the piece of paper in her hand.

"Ground beef for the lasagna I'm going to make tomorrow night." the slayer replied. She was about to instruct him as to where the meat section of the store was but the vampire was already pushing the cart in the right direction. "How do you know where the meat aisle is?" she inquired. "I thought you've never been here before."

"I can smell the cow blood. I could smell it from the second we walked in." Angel replied with a slight shrug. Buffy crinkled her nose slightly and then let out a soft sigh.

"I really shouldn't have asked that. You know, on second thought, based of the whole cow blood comment, I think I'll make *vegetarian* lasagna." the slayer stated, Angel nodded slightly with understanding.

"Does making it vegetarian lessen the odds that my kitchen will be burned down in your attempt to cook a decent meal?" the vampire inquired, his response came in the form of a playful swat in the arm. "Hey! Don't do that unless *you* want to push this damn cart." the immortal stated.

"I'll be good." the slayer replied with a small grin playing on her face.

The couple left the meat aisle for the dairy section. It was there that Buffy was faced with a dilemma; what kind of milk to get. "What do you think, Angel? Whole milk, skim milk, 2%?" she asked, turning to her preternatural love who was standing back, allowing her to do the shopping herself. He figured he didn't have the experience to offer an educated opinion on what kind of milk is better.

"I have no opinion. I won't be drinking it so it makes no difference to me which dairy product you choose. That decision is between you and the Wisconsin dairy farmers."

"Well, you might drink it. We could get you cereal. You might like Count Chocula." the slayer quipped.

"Funny." Angel stated with a roll of his eyes. "Get 2%." he said, hoping to resolve the argument. Buffy shrugged and knelt down to the 2% milk jugs in order to pick one.

As she sorted through them ("looking for that later date as if somewhere, beyond all the other gallons, is a container of milk that won't go bad for, like, a decade") Angel somehow managed to wander off toward the cheese section. Once she was able to find a gallon to her pleasing she noticed that Angel was missing and began searching for her vampire boyfriend.

It took her moment but eventually she found him staring at all the other kinds of cheese. His demeanor screamed 'Angel; lurking.' "You know, Honey, I just realized something about you. You can lurk anywhere, even in a grocery store. How is that even possible?" she asked as he turned his head to face her.

"Years of practice." he responded before placing a kiss on her lips.

The pair departed from the cheese aisle and went back to searching out the items that were on Buffy's list. About forty-five minutes later and several mini-arguments regarding what to buy and what should be added to the list the pair had finally finished. "And now," Buffy said, leaning over to her boyfriend who was pushing the rather full cart, "comes the worst part of shopping."

"This is going to get worse?" Angel asked with a cocked eyebrow and a rather distressed expression on his face. "How can this get much worse?"

"I take it you aren't enjoying your shopping experience?" the slayer asked with a smile.

"If I were human, I'd go nuts doing this. At least the Blood Bank doesn't have any of these problems. You don't poke and prod the bags, looking to find that better bag, it's not busy and you don't have to deal with other obnoxious shoppers. Now *that* is convenience." Angel stated as they reached the check-out area.

"Well, it's too bad all of us can't get our food to-go from the Blood Bank. But anyway, as I was saying, check-out is the worse part of shopping. It usually takes forever, not because the employees are slow or anything, it's just you usually end up in a line with really slow old ladies who insist on price checks and paying with checks, and it takes them forever to make out the checks." Buffy stated as they scanned for an open register.

Well, at that time of night there were only two open, one was a ten items or less, so that was ruled out quickly as the vampire and slayer had probably ten times that many in the cart. The other already had five carts lined up, three of which were pushed by old ladies who were pulling out their check books.

"Good thing I have all of my immortality to wait." Angel quipped under his breath.

The slayer and her vampire boyfriend rolled the cart to the end of the line and began the long process of waiting. While they were standing there Buffy quickly grabbed one of those supermarket tabloids to flip through while they waited. "Hey, check this out; the earth is going to end at 9:30 next week Tuesday. Apparently we're going to be invaded by aliens who are going to zap us all with some particle beam." Buffy read and then looked up at Angel.

"Is that 9:30 central standard time?" the vampire asked, Buffy flipped through the tabloid and scanned the article.

"You know, surprisingly it doesn't say." Buffy grinned.

"Figures. So this is what you do? You wait in a line forever and pass the time by reading tabloid mags?" the immortal asked, the Chosen One shrugged as she put the magazine back in the rack. "Remind me to never let you talk me into this ever again." the vampire stated as a woman with a cart wheeled up behind them. "Ohhhhh." Angel moaned softly, covering his mouth and nose with his hand. He suddenly grew paler than normal and looked a little sick.

"What's wrong with you?" Buffy asked, quite concerned for her boyfriend.

"I smell garlic. You know garlic and my kind don't have a good relationship." Buffy looked around and realized that it must be coming from the woman's cart behind them. Buffy was about to say something to the woman, asking her to move her cart back or something, but as luck would have it another register opened up and the woman moved to it, taking her garlic with her.

Quickly six carts lined up at the new register, leaving the vampire and the slayer at the register that was moving as slow as molasses. It was slow but at least it was thankfully garlic free. "Are you feeling better?" Buffy asked, brushing a strand of Angel's hair back with her fingertips.

"Yeah. Once I get away from it I'm okay." Angel answered, what little color his pale skin had was returning and he appeared healthier. Well, as healthy as the walking dead can appear anyway. "Why? Are you looking for another excuse to play nurse with me?" he asked suggestively.

"I wasn't aware I required an excuse in order to play *anything* with you." she answered playfully as she hooked her fingers with his. He pressed his lips to hers softly, giving her a slow loving kiss. "Hmm," she said, breaking the kiss momentarily, "this is one way to pass the time...." she murmured before pressing her lips to his once again.

The couple managed to pass the time and finally made it up to the register. After the cashier rang up all the items she announced that the price was $105.56. Angel's jaw dropped slightly but he was able to recover fairly quickly and pay the price the cashier had told him. After paying he and the slayer wheeled the groceries out to the car on the cart.

"Tell me," Angel said as he popped the trunk of his black Caddie (Buffy had accused him repeatedly of buying a Cadillac because of the one on Angel's favorite show, Forever Knight) and began packing the bags in, "how can food for one person cost that much?"

"Inflation I suppose. And don't go on the whole "when I was your age, bread only cost a nickel" route that my mother keeps trying to use on me."

"Actually, I'm Irish, we didn't use American currency so you don't have to worry about me saying something only cost a nickel. Your mother actually uses that line? I thought they only used that line on sitcom television." Angel replied as he attempted to wedge another bag in the trunk.

"Are you kidding? She uses that one and the "I had to walk fifteen miles everyday, uphill, both ways, in six feet of snow with no shoes on just to get a loaf of bread and the bread was stale" line too. I keep telling her, "Mom, you're so full of it. Grandma and Grandpa lived in LA." Oh, and then there is the infamous, "Clean your plate, there are people starving in China" line, as if finishing my vegetables will somehow help end world hunger." Buffy rattled off, Angel couldn't help but giggle softly. "Did your mother ever use those kinds of lines on you?"

"Not exactly those lines. I *was* told not to cross my eyes because they will stay that way, though." he answered as he slammed the trunk door down.

"Some things never change." the slayer quipped.

Buffy returned the cart to it's designated section before returning to the car. Angel waited outside the car for her to return so he could open the door for her, as was the gentlemanly thing to do. Once she was inside he closed the door and walked around to the other side and got in and started the car. He cautiously pulled out of the parking lot, having had seen the way certain people drive in parking lots while they are looking for spaces, and drove himself, his girlfriend and the groceries back to his apartment.

Buffy put the key in the door and opened it so Angel, who was juggling three bags, could enter. He had, of course, insisted on carrying the bags by himself. He set them down on the counter and returned to the car for another batch as Buffy began taking the items out of the paper bags and putting them into the cupboards or refrigerator.

Angel set the last two bags on the counter and let out a soft sigh. "That's all of 'em." he stated as Buffy put a bag of chips in the cupboard. "Do I have room for all of this stuff?"

"Sure you do. We may have to move some of that blood out of the refrigerator though...." the slayer replied, making a hand motion to the cases of soda.

"Oh, no. The blood stays where it is. I have gone along with a lot of things tonight. I can only stand so much, the blood stays *exactly* where it is. You aren't messing with the blood, got it?" Angel asked firmly, his dark eyes staring into hers with intent.

"Okay, fine, Angel, jeez. Calm down. I won't touch your blood, I swear." Buffy said, holding her hands up in mock surrender.

"Thank you. What can I say? I'm a little territorial when it comes to my blood supply." the vamp responded as he began helping her put things away in the cupboards.

Miraculously they managed to fit everything into Angel's rather small shelf space, thanks to a lot of wedging and a lot of creativity. They decided to stack blood bags on top of each other in order to make room for Buffy's caffeine laced soda, among other items.

"So, this is all over now?" Angel inquired as he made his way to the living room. He flopped down rather unceremoniously onto the couch, "That's it right? We've shopped and put it away, it's finished, isn't it?"

"By no means is it finished." Buffy replied before bouncing back to the kitchen. The bounce in her step made Angel wonder if she had snuck a Jolt while his back was turned. He rose quickly and ran to the kitchen behind her to see exactly what her rather cryptic answer really meant.

"What are you doing?" he asked as she pulled a pot from the cabinet under the counter.

"Making dinner!" the slayer replied with a grin.

"Oh no...." Angel murmured. While she was busy boiling water for whatever dish was she was planing on making, the vampire was busy as well. He had found his way to his hallway closet and had begun searching for that fire extinguisher he had made a mental note about.

The End

Author's Note: There was a line up there; "looking for that later date as if somewhere, beyond all the other gallons, is a container of milk that won't go bad for, like, a decade." That is from the movie 'Clerks' but I thought it applied nicely.